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Friday, May 16, 2014

My life with Adam

Every year, I have an imaginary celebrity boyfriend. This started in 2001 with the release of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. I become completely enamored with Orlando Bloom and his elven self. I have found this approach to be much easier than revealing too much about my personal dating life (this year's group cannot figure out if I am actually married or not). 

My Pre-AP class at the time decided that Orlando was cheating on me with Britney Spears. This became on ongoing battle, and I eventually dumped Orlando, much to their delight. 

After a couple of brief imaginary relationships with lesser men, I began dating Adam Levine. Our imaginary relationship has lasted years - mostly because my students wanted me to be dating celebrities like Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz. When The Voice came on, it seemed inevitable that we would be together forever. I often discuss how certain things Adam says on the show are really secret messages to me - and on occasion, my kids actually believe me. They freak out whenever I talk about him, and a Maroon 5 song comes on the radio.

Earlier this week, a student (who I do not have in class) approached me and asked if I had dated Adam Levine in high school. I must have done a good job of hiding my initial shock, because I responded, "Yeah. I thought everyone knew that." I was grilled with a number of questions, all of which I responded to quickly, and the student ate it up. 

The following day, two female students came to me with the same question. I explained that I am from Encino (I was actually born there), which is LA County. Adam is also from LA. We went to high school together. Both of us were kind of nerdy (I believe he says that in the Proactiv commercial), and we had a short fling - just a couple of weeks. 

"Oh my gawsh! Have you hugged him, miss?"

"Yes. We even kissed a couple of times. It's not really a big deal."

This was followed by squeals and giggles.

I know there is a bit sick and twisted of me, but I get a kick out of it. I love to see how quickly rumors will spread around the building. And in my defense, I always tell my students not to believe 99% of what I say. I am an English teacher after all. 

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