The Official List of #ThingsMyStudentsSay

After conferring with Benjamin Lewis via Twitter, I have decided to keep a running list of all the gloriously goofy things my eighth graders. As much as I pretend some of it annoys me, I live to catch them saying completely offbeat things. 

• I really wanted to go the Justin Beiber concert last night, but I couldn't. I was about to have a mid-life crisis. (4/11/16)
• The Holocaust was in Star Wars. (4/11/16)
• It wasn't me. It was accidentally my computer. (4/8/16)
• What does it mean when it says purpose? (It actually says porpoise.)
• My leg fell asleep, and now that thing on my butt is missing. 
• Miss, did you know back in the day, like 20 years ago...
• Miss, when you were younger did people throw paper airplanes in class to send notes to one another?
• Best student response to "How will you be successful on the STAAR test next week?": Highlight harder.
• "Are you sure it's mine?" - while looking at his document, on my computer, under his name, in our online classroom
• China IS in Chinese.
• Miss, we found a pack of gum in the recycling bin! And we ate it! YUH!
• Alaska is a continent.
• S: I like your haircut, Miss. You look nicer. Me: (evil glare) S: No, no, no! That's not what I meant!
• London IS in Paris, Miss.
• Why don't they celebrate Thanksgiving in England?
• My boys are discussing their future children: "We gonna put them in box or in the attic. They gonna learn."
• S: Do old people get bruises out of nowhere? Me:...Why are you asking me?
• From a writing assignment: I was like Curious George but less curious.
• When I flip the paper over, which side is the top?
• Miss, who is the school's internet provider? It just shut down on me and then restarted.